2009-08-26
2009-08-18
Some of the greats take on sex...
"Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love." - Woody Allen
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic." - Woody Allen
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all." - Rodney Dangerfield
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though." - Elton John
"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it." - Winston Churchill
"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography." - Robert Byrne
"I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic." - Woody Allen
"If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all." - Rodney Dangerfield
"I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though." - Elton John
"It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the other half are doing it." - Winston Churchill
"Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography." - Robert Byrne
2009-08-16
Summer of love...
Once, in the wee hours of the morning, my long-time boyfriend and I were walking to a friend's house from one of the local bars of our hometown. We were feeling rather frisky, not to mention somewhat inebriated from the night’s earlier events at the bar and decided to take a "detour" before heading to my friend's apartment. It was the summer, and every summer in this particular city, the central park hosts "Sunfest"; an event where traveling international groups set up tents in order to sell their goods and services. It was late and my boyfriend and I decided to take advantage of one of the many temporarily vacant tents set up in the park. We got busy in the middle of the city's most central and popular park; it was naughty and it was fun!
Giggling like teenagers who had just made love in the park, we ran to the down the street about a block before I realized I'd left my purse behind in the tent, so we ran back to retrieve it. While I was inside the tent looking for it, my boyfriend was accosted by two security guards that had been patrolling the park in a golf cart.
The security guards questioned my boyfriend about his reasons for being in the park and who was "hiding" in the tent. I revealed myself, thinking " Oh no, we're going to get charged!!" The security guards questioned us, "What were you doing in the tent?? Were you stealing? What did you take?" I was scared; the fun of having sex in a public place is in the RISK of getting caught but actually getting caught kinda kills the moment.
As the guards were questioning us and shinning flashlights in our eyes, my boyfriend confessed, "OK, we were having sex in there." The two security guards burst out laughing!! "Oh, is that all you were doing? Well, if you want to go back for round 2, go ahead, just don't break anything!"
Relieved, as I was, I was certainly not in the mood to go back in the tent for "round 2". Somehow, I was no longer in the mood.
Giggling like teenagers who had just made love in the park, we ran to the down the street about a block before I realized I'd left my purse behind in the tent, so we ran back to retrieve it. While I was inside the tent looking for it, my boyfriend was accosted by two security guards that had been patrolling the park in a golf cart.
The security guards questioned my boyfriend about his reasons for being in the park and who was "hiding" in the tent. I revealed myself, thinking " Oh no, we're going to get charged!!" The security guards questioned us, "What were you doing in the tent?? Were you stealing? What did you take?" I was scared; the fun of having sex in a public place is in the RISK of getting caught but actually getting caught kinda kills the moment.
As the guards were questioning us and shinning flashlights in our eyes, my boyfriend confessed, "OK, we were having sex in there." The two security guards burst out laughing!! "Oh, is that all you were doing? Well, if you want to go back for round 2, go ahead, just don't break anything!"
Relieved, as I was, I was certainly not in the mood to go back in the tent for "round 2". Somehow, I was no longer in the mood.
2009-08-14
2009-08-09
Just joking!
While making love, he says:
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. What do the vacuum "dirt devil" and Viagra have in common?
A. They both put the power of an upright in the palm of your hand.
- Darling, let's do 68!
- 68??? What's that?
- You do it to me and I'll owe you one.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.
Q. What do the vacuum "dirt devil" and Viagra have in common?
A. They both put the power of an upright in the palm of your hand.
2009-08-02
2009-07-18
We'll get this started with a couple of funny stories, thanks to everyone who submitted! If you have anything you want to share, drop us a line, we want to hear what happened to you!
1. "My funny one is also the most pain I have ever experienced. Me and my lady friend at the time were doing a little "heavy petting" and things were headed in the right direction. I had just gotten a kitten who was in the stage of attacking everything in sight that moved. We are taking care of each other so to speak when all of a sudden I feel as if I've been stabbed by many needles, right in the tip. The kitten had taken notice of what was happening and attacked her hand, and sunk it's claws right into my understandably over sensitive member. I screamed bloody murder which prompted my roomate to burst in to see what was wrong and got to see us both naked, me clutching my business and wanting to die."
2. "I don't have anything strange myself, but this happened to my roomate in our dorm in Uni. Him and his girlfriend came back from the bar quite loaded and ordered a pizza. They figured that they had enough time for a quicky before the pizza arrived. In the process of girl on top shaking the bed due to gyrations, the laundry soap was neglected that was on the headboard. It fell down into my roomate's face and causing a great deal of pain in the eyes. He then got up screaming and ran out of the room to get to a bathroom to wash out the soap. At the moment he came stumbling out of the room covered in soap, boner blazing, screaming that he can't see, the pizza arrived. I was across the hall and saw that part of it. The look on the pizza guy's face was priceless."
3."There was this one time, in Duncan's Cove ... We'd followed a hiking trail along the coast, heading southwest from the houses ... we were at a point along the trail where it went along the top of a large cove, so nobody at any other point along the trail could see that part of the trail, so we decided to take advantage of the relative privacy and the sweet summer breeze ... Then I had a feeling like we weren't alone, so I looked behind and a huge motherfucking container ship had just come around the bend and seemed to be about 200 feet offshore, right behind my lily-white ass. It kinda surprised me and killed the mood ..."
1. "My funny one is also the most pain I have ever experienced. Me and my lady friend at the time were doing a little "heavy petting" and things were headed in the right direction. I had just gotten a kitten who was in the stage of attacking everything in sight that moved. We are taking care of each other so to speak when all of a sudden I feel as if I've been stabbed by many needles, right in the tip. The kitten had taken notice of what was happening and attacked her hand, and sunk it's claws right into my understandably over sensitive member. I screamed bloody murder which prompted my roomate to burst in to see what was wrong and got to see us both naked, me clutching my business and wanting to die."
2. "I don't have anything strange myself, but this happened to my roomate in our dorm in Uni. Him and his girlfriend came back from the bar quite loaded and ordered a pizza. They figured that they had enough time for a quicky before the pizza arrived. In the process of girl on top shaking the bed due to gyrations, the laundry soap was neglected that was on the headboard. It fell down into my roomate's face and causing a great deal of pain in the eyes. He then got up screaming and ran out of the room to get to a bathroom to wash out the soap. At the moment he came stumbling out of the room covered in soap, boner blazing, screaming that he can't see, the pizza arrived. I was across the hall and saw that part of it. The look on the pizza guy's face was priceless."
3."There was this one time, in Duncan's Cove ... We'd followed a hiking trail along the coast, heading southwest from the houses ... we were at a point along the trail where it went along the top of a large cove, so nobody at any other point along the trail could see that part of the trail, so we decided to take advantage of the relative privacy and the sweet summer breeze ... Then I had a feeling like we weren't alone, so I looked behind and a huge motherfucking container ship had just come around the bend and seemed to be about 200 feet offshore, right behind my lily-white ass. It kinda surprised me and killed the mood ..."
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